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Many conflicts can actually be dealt with by using internal conflict resolution strategies. These are skills that are more focused on your own personal response, as compared to getting another person to make changes.
1. Ignore It: Either through indirect modeling or direct conversations, you can teach your children when are appropriate situations to simply ignore the behavior that is causing the annoyance. For example, tour younger sister is bugging you because she’s eating with her mouth open, ignore it and mover further away from her. 2. Empathy: Teach your children about putting yourself in another person’s shoes. And one of the best ways to do this at home, is for you to show and practice lots and lots of empathy towards your children. Reflect back on what he or she might be feeling. Ask him or her what’s going on. Say back what you hear him or her saying. 3. Apologize: Apologizing starts internally because you have to use your empathetic lens to identify what you did that was hurtful to the other person. And yup, I’m talking to about us parents apologizing to our children when we make a mistake that is hurtful to our children. Do this because it is the right thing to do. In addition, it teaches our children how to apologize, too. When we model the behavior of apologizing, we are showing our children how to take responsibility for their actions. And just as important, we are teaching them how to make amends when they’ve done something wrong. Not only does this help children develop empathy, it also helps them learn the importance of owning up to their mistakes. You might say I’m an expert apologizer. Can’t tell you how many times I’ve flipped my lid and yelled at my own own children or been lost in my own world that I’ve neglected to give them attention when they needed it. Apologizing really goes a long way in helping to make repairs and restore connection. |
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